Iranian General: Israel Stealing Clouds, Rain, Snow

An Iranian general has accused Israel of an unprecedented crime.

And he claims he can prove it.

Brigadier General Gholam Reza Jalali, head of Iran’s Civil Defense Organization told a press conference Monday that Israel is guilty of theft … of precipitation.

“Foreign interference is suspected to have played a role in climate change,” Jalali said, according to the ISNA news agency.

Jalali insists a scientific study by Iran can “confirm” the claim.

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“Israel and another country in the region have joint teams which work to ensure clouds entering Iranian skies are unable to release rain,” he said.

There’s no word on whether reporters were able to keep a straight face at the time, but if they were, they had to have lost it over Jalali’s next allegation.

“On top of that, we are facing the issue of cloud and snow theft,” Jalali added. To prove it, skeptics need look no further than a survey that showed all mountainous areas above 7,200 feet between Afghanistan and the Mediterranean are covered in snow … except Iran.

That’s the kind of evidence even Perry Mason couldn’t refute.

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Jailali’s bold — and laughable — claim was quickly challenged by Iran’s own meteorological service.

While admitting that Jalali “probably has documents of which I am not aware,” the head of the country’s meteorlogical service poured cold water (presumably not from the stolen snowfall) on Jalali’s conclusion.

“On the basis of meteorological knowledge, it is not possible for a country to steal snow or clouds,” said Ahad Vazife, according to ISNA.

Vazife pointed out that the current drought that is plaguing Iran is a global trend, and not one confined to the country’s borders.

He also said alleging that someone is tinkering with the weather is probably not the best solution to the water shortage.

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“Raising such questions not only does not solve any of our problems, but will deter us from finding the right solutions,” Vazife said.

As crazy as Vazife’s claim is, he’s actually not the first Iranian official to accuse someone of pilfering precipitation.

In 2011, then-President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad accused Western countries of causing a drought in Iran by using “special equipment” that forced clouds to drop rain on their own continent instead of sharing with the Iranians.

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